So it’s been a good minute since I’ve posted anything, but if you’ve ever experienced graduate school then you understand how my life spiraled out of control once “Thesis” appeared on my schedule. Thanks for sticking around fam!
I’m not going to give you an update on Grad School because no one needs that kind of negativity in their life. You’re welcome *Maui Voice*. Let’s talk about friendship instead!
In the spring of 2016 I fell into a conversation about race relations with an acquaintance at church. When I say “fell”, I mean that I made a half-joking comment about our country moving to a ‘us vs. them’ situation across race lines that sparked a 3 hour-long discussion with this guy, who we will call Arrow, that I had barely exchanged pleasantries with, but such is life right?
Fast forward to winter 2016 when I’m on break from school and I haven’t spoken to Arrow since Spring. I wasn’t thinking about it because you know, Grad School *jazz hands*. Arrow, my sister, and I go to lunch which ends up lasting until dinner time (I didn’t have anything to do, but homie probably should’ve gone back to work, but whatevs *shrug*). You ever have a friend where either you don’t talk at all or you talk to each other for hours, there is no in between? This is our friendship. Weirdest thing, yo!
Arrow is the epitome of the white, southern, cisgendered male. He loves Jesus, his momma, his guns, and his truck. His life is legit a country music song. I am a first generation Nigerian-American
asexual cisgendered woman. He’s conservative (tragic) and I’m liberal(ish). Clearly, we don’t have anything in common (except a love for Jesus) so we have a hard time finding common ground, but we try. We more often find ourselves talking past each other, but I think we’re getting better at communicating.
This friendship is fascinating to me for two reasons: 1) We engage in a mutual exchange of ideas where we actually listen to each other. 2) We are learning from each other. I honestly feel that I have become a better person from our friendship and its only been 4 weeks!
When I think about how our friendship will progress I wonder if we will ever be able to find common ground. Arrow thinks that the biggest barrier in our communication is a lack of shared experiences. I would agree with him *gasp*. To potentially remedy this issue, Arrow has suggested we engage in some shared experiences. We’ll do something he’s passionate about (shooting) and something I’m passionate about (TBA). I think this is pretty exciting!
Maybe after some shared experiences it won’t feel like we’re talking past each other. Arrow is the Marlin to my Dory 🙂